The Key To Emotional Intimacy
“What makes you different or weird, that’s your strength” – Meryl Streep
I am sitting in my hotel room right now in Palms Springs. I have been going to classes all week with other entrepreneurial women at Alt Summit and it has been…indescribable.
My brain is full. Do you ever feel that way? I think if I were asked to take in and process one more thing, I might explode. It is fantastic.
One of my greatest take aways, after mentally sifting and processing it all is pretty simple and best summed up in the words of Alison Faulkner,
“Only you can be you, and you are already as awesome as you need to be.”
This little golden shining nugget is true in business and even more in your relationships.
Do you ever feel afraid to share yourself with your husband? Like REAL stuff? The stuff that you are afraid for him to see. Your secret dreams and hopes for the future, or your most painful weaknesses that you pray no one can actually see?
If the thought of sharing those things with your spouse makes your palms sweaty, you are not alone.
For me, it has always been body issues. Even after being married for 15 years, I still hate letting my husband see me naked.
Maybe it’s not that for you. That’s ok. It is something. Take a second and find that issue for you.
It feels painfully vulnerable to share those things. Uncomfortable doesn’t even begin to describe that feeling, right?
Here’s the truth though.
Showing that part of yourself, the real, unvarnished, awkward and painfully naked part of yourself, is the only way to create emotional intimacy in your marriage.
Kind of sucks, huh? Oh yeah.
This is the hard work of marriage. It’s working through all the chatter in your own brain that is keeping you from really seeing and connecting with yourself so you can go and really connect with your spouse.
It is wrenching and hard work because you have to learn to love and see the cracks in yourself and then face the vulnerability of showing them to the one person in the world who can hurt you the most.
But going through that process together with him, showing him all the parts of you, seeing all the parts of him, reacting badly and reacting perfectly, the whole range of experiences in the journey is where intimacy and connection are born.
You can’t have intimacy without vulnerability. It isn’t possible.
So how are you going to be vulnerable with your spouse? What dream will you share? Decide now and just go do it.
He might respond in a different way than you want him to. That’s ok. You are starting on the path and there are going to be lots of imperfect moments. You can handle it thought. I know you can.
If you need support, I am here for you. It can be really difficult to walk that road, I know. I know because I am on that road, my friends. If it feels like too much, I can help. Click the button below to schedule a call where I will help you get the support you need to get to the intimate and connected relationship that you want. Let’s do it.